Tag Archive | hope

Spirit Growing Faint

This goes to all who are in pain – not just physically. Coming across posts in social media, I learned that there are so many souls that are hurting. I wish I could help ease the pain, but my words will never be enough. Sometimes, even friends and family’s support won’t be enough, either. I just pray and hope that these souls would eventually find the Light so these dark clouds looming inside their heads will eventually clear up. And they can breathe the beauty and freshness of Life again- as it should always be.

No amount of words can comfort a depressed soul.

Prayer helps but we must also accept that sometimes God’s delay is inevitable. During these times, when the person feels that God’s presence does not seem to linger, a person can only wallow in his thoughts, until a whisper of realization hit him. Until the breath of comfort, grace and hope blankets the person.

The in-betweens of waiting, of just being still, those are the hardest moments. You can only say so much for that person. He could only listen.

These moments of in-betweens, the only thing a depressed spirit can do is to fight. In any way. If fighting means as superficial as trying to be pretty. Working out. Listening to music. Reconnecting with his/her faith. Walking with the Lord. Just FIGHT it.

To you who walk the earth as if a cloud constantly looms over your head, as if hope is a light that goes on and off, FIGHT it. Never give in to unnecessary thoughts. Just try to be happy. Even if it means faking it. Or as they say, “Fake it til you make it.” And fight whenever the light of hope starts running off again.

A lot of people may never, and perhaps will never, understand you. It might seem that you have everything in life or that you have everything under control. But you are aware that every now and then, your mind would helplessly wander back to the things you don’t have. To the unseen lowest depths of your being. You may be happy yet you feel empty inside.

I won’t tell you to look ahead, that does not help, does it? Looking ahead means looking at a blur. At a foggy portal to the tomorrow you think you never have. To a place where you think you will never be.

So no, please. Never tell a depressed soul to look ahead because often, they do not see what’s ahead of them. They only see the “now” and the “now” is dark. But know this: That dark moment will pass. It will pass. 🙂

At the end of the day, the support, advice and presence of the people around you may never enough. It is crucial not to solely depend your healing on OTHERS alone. It is up to you to SAVE yourself. If I may use this quote I got off the internet,

“People can only do so much as to save you. In the end, SAVING yourself has to be YOUR choice.” – Rubyann

When the clouds start clearing up, and you see the blue sky once again, you feel the ray of sunshine on your face, the smell of the morning air, DECIDE. Make SAVING yourself a choice.

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Day 2 Tombstone

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He placed the flower on top of the granite gravestone. Despite the fallen leaves, tiny twigs and dust, the stone remained smooth.

It has been 4 years yet he could still not forget and forgive himself for what happened to his mom.

“If only I didn’t run away, if only she didn’t go looking for me…”

Tears fell as he started to remember his mother. He missed her so much. He missed her sweet demeanor, her blueberry pancakes for breakfast, her love for photography and her fascination with butterflies because as she would always say, “they make a great subject, they embody hope”.

He was grateful to his Dad because for all these years, he never made him feel that he blamed him for what happened. It was strange how his Dad never changed, but he did. Perhaps it was the guilt that made him grow distant to his father.

He was caressing the tombstone with his mother’s engraved name on it when a hand slightly tapped his shoulder.

He quickly stood up and turned around to see the person.

Then he saw her. The most beautiful girl he had ever met, standing in front of him, reaching out a handkerchief to him.

He sheepishly reached for the handkerchief. “Thank you.”

“Sorry, I saw you from afar and you looked sad. I figured…,” she hesitated. “Sorry again if I bothered you.”

He gave her a half-smile, “It’s fine. I was just surprised to see someone here at this time.”

Then she pointed out the tombstone a few rows behind his mom’s. “That’s where my sister lies. I never actually met her, she passed away before I was born. Whenever I have problems, I go here to talk to her. She helped me a lot.”

He nodded and pointed to the tombstone. “This is Mom.”

“I am sure she was a lovely lady.” she said those words with all sincerity.

“She was.”

There was silence before she spoke again.

“There’s actually a museum not far from here. I could show you something that can make you smile. Hopefully.”

They took the pathway that led to the main road. She was a brilliant girl, she had a certain way of talking that made him feel better. Without even knowing it, they soon found themselves standing in front of the museum she was talking about. It took them just a few minutes.

They entered the building and trodded a narrow hallway that leads to a huge room. It was a room with several butterfly collection. Every color of butterfly he could think of, it was all there.

She spoke quietly behind his left ear, “I would always come here whenever I visit my sister. There’s something about butterflies. For me, they embody hope and forgiveness…a new beginning. Don’t you think so?”

Those words echoed in his mind, “they embody hope and forgiveness…a new beginning.”

He looked at her eyes, they seemed to sparkle of the beauty and hope she was talking about. She had that sweet smile. Before he knew it, he felt his face inching towards her.

He felt it. It was a sweet and innocent kiss.

If she was surprised, she didn’t show it. But she tilted her head sideways and looked at him with a smile.

“You just stole my first kiss, do you know that?”

 


This was fun to write as well, but I went over 10 minutes. I had to come up with a story that involves a tombstone, a first kiss, and a butterfly collection but I don’t want it to sound sad or creepy at the end of the story.

What about you? What story can you come up using these 3 components?