Originally written for a friend but I dedicate this to myself as well as to all other women who are broken and have been broken. To those who have lost pieces of themselves and have finally found these pieces in Jesus. And if you haven’t found them yet, in Him you will. 🙂
How are you, my beloved? And I am not asking how you are physically but I demand to know your thoughts, dreams and frustrations. Life, as you might have realized by now, gets more complex and deep as we get older. We inevitably give in to unnecessary thoughts planted by the devil and easily get frustrated with unclaimed dreams. With all these things, you only have to know one thing: You are loved.
You are spoken for. Someone already loves you much greater than any other men could ever have. He is loving you right now and will never stop. He knows all your life’s rotten pieces, He knows the little things that can make your heart flutter and He knows the things that marred your untainted heart. He knows your past, present and future.
I cannot love you like Jesus does but I love you. In my own way, that is.
You are maybe unaware but I used to admire your smile. Your demeanor towards life. The way you commit to Him. I looked up to how you spread His love to the people you met. I could never do that. How could I? I never knew Him as much as you do.
You knew how to smile for no reason. You took life so lightly as if you had Someone so powerful you can always rely on.
You walked with your bouncy feet like you were on clouds, completely unaware that you were trudging the noisy lane of the city and not a meadow blooming with vibrant flowers.
You have a world of your own, so unlike the world we live in. I remember muttering to myself, “I wish I could smile like her.”
Your entirety seemed to sparkle. You were not aware of the beauty you have.
You see, that time I had what other people would kill to have. I’ve got family, work, money, friends and a relationship. I almost had everything. The only thing I didn’t have is the one you were blessed to have.
Jesus. Faith. Love for God. They are one and the same to me. When we found each other, I easily opened my heart to you.
My heart could tell how lovely you are. Everyone seemed to think so. Guys and ladies alike thought you were admirable for the sincere love you have for Him.
You never knew how beautiful you were. Your soul was radiating with love, grace and acceptance. Your laugh was meek and mild. Your words were but a tongue of fire. The brokenhearted ones took refuge in your calm and comforting words.
Perhaps that very same sparkle you had brought you closer to that man.
How long has it been? How long did you stay in that damp, rotting place of misery you call moving on? It seems like it kept pulling you back every time you stepped out. And you let it.
Getting lost in love: I’ve been lost in love and I unintentionally lost myself in it. Little by little. In unnoticeable amount. Until I let my world be defined by that person.
Love is great. It is the best gift you can ever receive in this world. However, putting so much faith in it over the One who gifted you with Love will get you stranded, if not lost.
And if you are already lost in love or starting to lose who you are for the love that has not even started yet or has just started to bud, how lost will you be if you completely have it?
I must tell you, love can be intoxicating. For this reason, the devil can use that very love to destroy you. To poison your mind and soul, deplete you with hope and leave you like an empty, calloused shell of yourself. Don’t let that happen.
Love right. Yes, there is a right way of loving. One that involves God in it. If you believe it is right, fight for it. But bear in mind that you both should be fighting for it and not you alone. Build a relationship with it. And should time comes when the relationship crumbles, take it as divine diversion. Think about it. Cry about it, lament about it. Be angry because of it. And never every forget to Pray for it. Then leave it. Your part is finished. Anything that involves something out of your control, leave it to Him.
I will not tell you to guard your heart. Jesus is already doing that for you. And for every failed tries in love, do not ever forget to send Him thanks.
What I will tell you instead is for you to love every chance you’ve got. But shed your tears for the ones who deserve it. Those who sincerely cared for you and loved you just as much as you love them.
Be true to yourself. Do not make justifications for others so they’d be uplifted. For men, it is what it is.
Never evade the truth especially if it smacks you right in the face. Truth hurts but covering it up won’t make it any less painful.
I am sorry, I should have told you about this sooner. I should have explained more. Open your mind to the wisdom of the experienced. They never meant harm.
I try so hard to bring back the girl I used to admire. Maybe I am not the one who can bring her back. Perhaps the Man who gave His all to have you is the only One who can do the Job. Nope, not perhaps. Definitely.
You’re right. We are all on our different journeys but I would love to see you get back on the right track, with that hopeful attitude, blessed soul, graceful demeanor and humble heart.
Should things be, then grow rightfully. In His ways and not the worldly ways. If change is imperative, by all means embrace the change. But My Dear if I could ask you one thing: Change into a woman that you are and should be, not a mere derivative of the 20th century world. We have lots of them, there’s too few of you.
But if you think you haven’t changed in all those years, then forgive me. I must have a different perception of you for a long time. I have you misconstrued for years. Hopefully, you have shown me the real you for all the times we were together. If not, then what you are is but a convoluted construct of my own views.
If you should change, I plead you retain the core of your entire being. If you should grow, take your core as the roots and blossom bountifully. I tell you, you will bear sweet fruits.
Last thing. You asked me how to be cold-hearted. To be honest, I don’t know. And quite frankly, I never want to know. Probably, my heart is just at peace because Someone told me I am spoken for. And I believe that.
You know which people inspire others the most? Those who do not conform to how the world ask them to run their lives but to the Word which is the Truth. They are the ones who walk believing that a noisy lane in the city is a meadow blooming with vibrant flowers.
May the Almighty God be with you always.
The Lost Pieces of Yourself